We wish to extend our thoughts and prayers to the victims of those who have died or been injured by Hurricanes Harvey, Irma, and Maria and to their families and friends [for real, rest is satire]. Needless to say, this means that this is not the time to discuss changing current policies regarding climate change. Our president has decided to withdraw the US from the Paris Climate Accord, the Director of the EPA has ordered removal from all agency websites of any mention of climate change or that it might be at least partly caused by humans, and funding for research on this topic is being cut. Certainly, as we mourn the dead from these hurricanes, it is simply inappropriate to discuss changing these policies, just as it is still too soon to discuss changing gun policies after the 2006 shooting at Virginia Tech. Oh, I forgot, we did change policies after that, making it easier for people in many states to carry guns in more public places and purchase them without background checks, as of course it is unconscionable to block gun purchases by mentally disturbed terrorists.
As for talking about changing climate change policies, well, it would be an insult to the families of the hurricane dead to even remotely mention possibly rejoining the Paris Climate Accord or putting anything up on EPA or NOAA websites that would even remotely suggest that human activity might have had anything whatsoever in making these hurricanes stronger than they might have been otherwise. Obviously these hurricanes were sent by God, and those who died did so at His will, and we must respect that and the hard feelings that the families and friends left behind must have to deal with in coming to terms with this hard truth. We must all humiliate ourselves in the face of the divine and not remotely question any profits that might be accruing to any fossil fuel companies for their activities in increasing the carbon dioxide in the atmosphere, which our wise administration has determined has nothing to do with climate change whatsoever, the very suggestion of which we know is a Chinese hoax. Let us all continue to extend our thoughts and prayers and wait for another appropriate time, as long from now as possible, to discuss these matters.
Barkley Rosser
It seems to me that the conventional "thoughts and prayers" could be more efficiently conveyed by an abbreviated "T&P" thereby conserving both digital exertion AND unnecessary lip movement by readers. After all, it's the thought that counts.
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